WRITER: Doing It For the Fame


“Doing It For the Fame” is a monologue written for Sarasvati Production’s International Woman’s Week Cabararet of Monologues: Stolen Sisters. It had two professional performances on March 12, 2016 along with 10 other monologues. “Doing it For the Fame” also had three community performances, and was remounted in fall 2016 for two additional community performances.


Below is an excerpt:


[Lights rise to Kelly Johnson clapping her hands above her head, asking the audience for applause. Kelly is a larger than life game show host, high energy, and just wants everyone to have a good time. She wears a brightly sequinned jacket that is both shiny and over-the-top]


KELLY JOHNSON

Good evening everyone, and welcome to tonight’s episode of DOING IT FOR THE FAME! Do you want to approach the authorities to report rape, harassment, or domestic abuse? Are you scared you’ll end up like the women who accused celebrities like Bill Cosby, Kim Hyun Joong, or Jian Ghomeshi? Or worse, the multiple young women who accused college football players? 


Well, we want to cash in on that fear! That’s why we made this gameshow for you, the woman who wants to come forward! This week, we have Jane Doe. Jane Doe met a much-beloved TV actor, household favourite, you know him—she met him at a club and, after dating for a few weeks, the two became a couple that lasted two years.


Now, Jane Doe wants to come forward with accusations of domestic violence. There were two particular incidents that sent Jane Doe to the hospital, the Christmas incident, and the failed audition incident.


However, Jane Doe is scared she’s going to end up like the women who have come before her, hated for quote on quote “slandering” the good name of a popular man.


Without further ado, Jane Doe, welcome to DOING IT FOR THE FAME! If you can answer all the questions correctly, you’ll have a story to take to the authorities that has believability. Are you ready? 

[Kelly Johnson pulls out a paper from her blazer. She reads it]

Our first category is . . . FANDOM! His fans claim they “know him” and that he would never abuse his girlfriend.


Is it: 


a) his onstage persona is different from who he is in real life

  1. fangirls are delusional if they think they “know” him
  2. your adoration of a celebrity doesn’t dismiss a crime

or 

  1. Don’t ask how, but you are actually a robot created by a mad feminist scientist, designed for the explicit purpose of bringing down prominent men in society, even if this means pulling out the secret laser pistols you store safely in your robotic fallopian tubes. 


Jane Doe, what is your answer? 

© Makrenna Sterdan 2017